He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not
by Guitarchick727
Summary: After moving in with her cousin Sean, Autumn has to get used to life in Canada. Only one person strikes her attention but its someone she shouldn’t mess around with. She falls in love wit him, only to find 'He loves her not.' Complete
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

I sat up in bed with a jolt. I had to be having a nightmare, right? I glanced around an unfamiliar room: blue walls, a tiny maple dresser, and the mattress that was laid on the floor. It wasn't a nightmare; it was real life. I had moved in with my cousin Sean so he wouldn't have to be alone. Sean had some rough times and just needed to get out on his own. I couldn't let him live alone and rot away. He does have a girlfriend, but apparently there was nothing she could do. I remember getting that call about a week ago from Sean...

"Autumn! Sean's on the phone. He wants to ask you something," I heard my mother's voice from inside. I had been lying on our private beach working on my tan.

I quickly wrapped my towel around my waist while running into the house. "Thanks, Mom." I took the phone from her tight grip. She never really cared for Sean; he was the black sheep of our family. "Hello?"

"Hey Autumn how are things out in California?" my cousin's voice sounded so far. It didn't sound like the same Sean that I was so close with.

"Things are fine, but things definitely could be better. What's up?"

I heard him clear his throat, "I was wondering if you wouldn't mind moving up here with me. I moved out and I have this little apartment all to myself and it's kind of lonely. I need someone here with me...please?"

Startled by his request, it took me a minute to regain my thoughts. "Um...Sean, what about your girlfriend; where is she?"

"Ellie has to take care of her mom. Her dad is in the troops, so it's just the two of them and I can't take her away when her mom needs her. Autumn, you know I wouldn't ask you for anything unless I absolutely needed it. I need you..." his voice trailed off. He wasn't just asking; he was pleadingly with me.

"Sure. I'll be there as soon as I can."

And that was that. I explained to my parents that I was needed by Sean. Sean wasn't one to ask for help. My mother was a little resistant to the idea, but eventually my father coaxed her into letting me go. I packed my bags and I got on the first plane to Canada, where Sean lives.

But Sean isn't the only one who lives here anymore...I live with him. I left my life behind to help my cousin and so far I didn't see much of an improvement. Starting tomorrow, I would be going to school with Sean. I just hope I made the right decision coming here. I love Sean and I really hope things work out while I'm out here. Only I didn't know what trouble lay ahead of me. If I only knew, things would be a lot different.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

After waking up in the middle of the night, I rolled over on the small bed and fell back asleep. Sleep didn't come easy though. All night I kept waking from hearing the leaky faucet from the bathroom, the next room over. I guessed Sean didn't get much sleep either since he was in the shower at a quarter to six.

I unwrapped myself from the flowered sheet I used as a blanket and went to make some coffee in the kitchen. The coffee maker was old; it was slow and made the coffee taste horrible. I sat down on the dirty old couch as I waited for Sean to finish with his shower. As I sat there, I started to think about Sean and how much things have changed since we were little. Sean was now the biggest guy I knew. I had talked to him a lot since we were apart and I wasn't quite ready for the new Sean. He was a lot bigger than I expected. But after talking to him for a while, under all that tough exterior it was the Seany that I knew as a child.

Sean didn't take too long to get out of the shower. He opened the door and appeared with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist shuddering. "Be-be-beware of the sh-sh-shower. It's fr-fr-freezing."

I heard him start to move to his room and called out to him, "There's some really bad coffee in the kitchen. It's hot but tastes like shit."

"No thanks. I'll just grab something on the way to school. I want to get there early so I can show you around a bit, get you situated," he appeared not two seconds later wearing a pair of jeans, a white wife beater and a black hooded sweatshirt.

"Sure, anything you say. Well, since the water isn't going to get any warmer, I think I'll get in the shower." I walked back to the kitchen placing my coffee mug in the sink.

Before I could get to the bathroom, Sean enveloped me into a hug. "I'm glad you're here. I really appreciate it." He placed a delicate kiss on my forehead.

I smiled meekly, "I really need to get in the shower." I gave him one last squeeze before exiting to the bathroom. I looked around: the pipes were rusted, the toilet handle was broken, and the mirror had tiny creaks in it ready to break at any second; I was living in hell.

I turned the knob to the shower. I didn't matter where I put it the water was still the same temperature. Sean was right, it was freezing. As I stood there turning to a block of ice, I barely had enough energy to shave my legs and arms. But I did, I couldn't go to school with hairy legs and armpits, especially if I was going to wear a tank top. I washed my hair and shaved my body, just before I thought I would turn into an ice sculpture.

I dried off and ventured into the tiny room I slept in. I went through tons of clothes to find the right outfit: a purple halter top and tight low rise jeans. I quickly blow dried my hair leaving my hair down to hang about my shoulders. I grabbed my black leather jacket and black messenger bag.

"Autumn, let's go! Its 7 already. We still have to pick up Ellie," Sean's voice boomed from the other room.

"Coming!"" I yelled back taking one last look in the cracked mirror on my wall. I slipped into my jacket and threw my bag across my chest. I ran out the apartment and jumped into Sean's Oldsmobile Cutlass Ciera. "Sorry, I took so long. I have to look just right for my first day of school."

"Whatever. What do you have first period? Maybe you have class with someone I know," Sean pulled up along side a white house honking the horn.

I started pulling papers and flyers out of my bag as a petite red head dressed in all black came out of the house. I finally found my schedule. I looked it over, "I have photography."

I watched as the girl slid into the back seat. "What about photography?" she leaned forward and pecked Sean on the cheek with a kiss.

Sean pulled away from the curb, "Ellie, this is my cousin Autumn. Autumn, Elli. Photography is Autumn's first class. I'm pretty sure Craig has that first too."

"Yeah, Craig has photography at that time. Are you sure you want your cousin hanging out with _him_?" Ellie asked raising her eyebrows.

"Craig won't do anything, El. He knows what I'd do to him if he were to touch my cousin," Sean smoothed my back with his free hand.

I glanced back at Ellie and then back as Sean. "What is so bad about this Craig kid?"

Sean opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Ellie, "Craig was dating a girl named Ashley. They were such a great couple. Until he cheated on her with Manny, the school slut. Needless to say, they broke up. He got Manny pregnant. She had an abortion. He is nothing but a man whore. I wouldn't trust him with you."

"Autumn, the kid's my best friend, besides Jay. I would have done the same thing if I had the opportunity," Sean laughed looking at Ellie. Sean pulled into the parking lot and parked near the doors.

As we piled out of the car, Ellie slapped Sean's arm playfully, "Thanks a lot! I'm really glad my boyfriend is blatantly honest with me."

I love you too." Sean wrapped Ellie up into a tight bear hug placing a kiss on the top of her head.

We headed up the steps towards the doors. Sean held the door open for us. I looked around my surroundings: flyers hanging all over the walls, the identical school lockers and a cute guy standing only feet away with a camera to his eye. He was wearing a tight brown t-shirt and a leather jacket that I could have sworn was mine. I watched him as he focused his lens on me. I shot him my winning smile as the shutter clicked.

"Autumn, the office is this way," I heard Sean call from down the hall.

I turned to catch up with him only to smack into another student. Papers and books went crashing to the floor not to mention me and the other student. That's when it hit me: it was only Monday, the beginning of a very long week.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

I sat up in bed hearing the obnoxious sound of my alarm clock going off. The constant beep annoyed me, but I hadn't had the motivation to get a new alarm clock. I stretched my arms over my head and then ran my hands through my hair. I reached over and hit the alarm off. Six in the morning, did I mention I'm not a morning person? I just sat there thinking about the last school year. Everything had been such a blur. When had I let my life get so out of control?

"Craig? Are you up yet?" I heard my door creak open and saw Joey's face appear in the doorway.

"Yeah, I was just thinking." I pulled the dead weight that I called my body up out of body as my cell phone started to play 'What Happened' by Sublime. I didn't want to answer it knowing who it was already. I braced myself as I picked up the phone. "Yeah?"

"Hi," she whispered in my ear.

"What do you want? I can't talk; I have to get ready for school," I said harshly, not really caring if I hurt her feelings.

She sighed, "I just wanted to hear your voice. I don't want you to be mad at me. I've apologized a dozen times, Craig. What do you want me to do?"

I took a deep breath, "Leave me alone, Manny. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. Please..." I waited for a reply but there was none to be found. I hung up the phone and placed it next to my Algebra 2 book.

I walked to the bathroom and stared at my reflection in the medicine cabinet mirror. I had changed so much from my sophomore year. Not that much physically, but emotionally I had matured. I had made some pretty bad choices that I had to grow up. After learning that my first child was to be killed, I made some life altering changes. I prayed that this year would not even compare to last year. I wasn't planning on talking to Manny this year after all she's put me through. But she hung around like a bad habit that I couldn't kick. Sure, she had apologized; it still didn't make it right.

I started the water for my shower knowing that it was getting late. I stepped into the waterfall and let it wipe all my thoughts and problems. I wouldn't let _her_ get to me.

I turned off the water and grabbed my white towel that was hanging on the towel rack by the shower wrapping it around my waist. I went back to my room getting ready for the day ahead. I walked over to my closet to pull out some clothes. I grabbed a pair of black jeans and a brown fitted t-shirt and of course my signature leather jacket. I threw the clothes on and ran back to the bathroom to fix my hair. Brushed my hair and ran gel through it making sure it wasn't going to be a big mess. I finished up some last minute details. I put my Algebra 2 book away, grabbed my camera off my desk and picked up my cell phone placing it in my front jeans pocket.

I walked into the kitchen to see Angela and Joey getting ready for their day. Angela was sitting at the counter eating cheerios while Joey ran around collecting papers for work.

"Craig! Craig!" Angela screamed as I walked in. I leaned forward kissing her head. Angela was my half sister. She was Joey's daughter with my mom. My mom had died a few years ago and I had moved in with Joey because I couldn't bear to live with my father. I have the scars to prove it.

"I got to go. I have to finish a project for photography. I have to get to school. I'll see you guys later," I swung my bag over my shoulder. I gave Angela another kiss and began my journey to school. I sat down in my 1986 camaro and that's when my phone started going off again. Why did she keep calling me? "What do you want?"

"Craig, I just want to know things are cool between us. I'm sorry for what I did, but I couldn't ruin my life because of one little mistake. Please forgive me," Manny said. She almost sounded as if she were in tears.

"Why is this such a big deal to you? We broke up; things are over, Manny. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. We had fun, but it's over now. Move on," I tightened my grip on the steering wheel. "I have to go. I have stuff I have to do." This time I didn't even wait for the response I knew I wasn't going to get. I slammed my phone shut and replaced it in my pocket. I started the car and started the drive to Degrassi Community School.

I arrived when there were absolutely in the student parking lot. I pulled in to the last spot in the front row. I grabbed my bag and camera and ventured into the school. I walked to my locker to throw my stuff in it. I held my camera as I walked around the school looking for something to shoot for my project. I needed something different, something new. The whole project was to take pictures of something you've never seen in Degrassi before. And considering I've been everywhere in the school there wasn't much that I hadn't seen before.

I walked aimlessly around the school. _Maybe I could just take pictures of me. I've changed and I'm new. I'm the new Craig. _I knew that wouldn't count for anything. I kept walking in circles trying to find something that I could pass off as if I've never seen it. I just started taking pictures not really caring if I hadn't seen _that_ before or not. I took pictures of the secretary typing away on her computer, the few kids at their lockers, and the janitor already moping up someone's spilled coffee. Of course all these things were familiar to me. But what could be _new_ that I haven't seen? I've been in the same school for the past three years! I was going to fail my first official project in my junior year in my favorite class.

I finally just decided to wait in the hallway by the main doors; maybe something interesting would walk through them. I stood there focusing my camera on the doors. I turned away for two seconds checking behind me for anything interesting when I heard one of the doors open. I still had my camera to my eye focused on the doors. I saw the most beautiful thing: a stunning beauty. She had to be 5'1", 5'2" tops. She had light brown hair with blonde highlights that went down past her shoulders. She had lovely hazel eyes and a smile that took my breath away. She was wearing a purple halter top, tight blue jeans and a leather jacket that I could have sworn was mine. She noticed me looking at her with my camera and gave me one of those million dollar smiles. I took the shot. She was different, she was new; she was something I had never see before. But when the shutter opened again she was no where to be found. I removed the camera that was permanently attached to my eye and looked at the floor. She crashed into one of the new freshman. I smiled to myself thinking that today was Monday, the beginning of a long week to get to know this girl.


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Welcome, Miss Cameron, to Degrassi Community School," the principal, Mr. Raditch, said placing a hand on my back. "I can only hope that you won't get into the same kind of mischievous trouble that your cousin has caused. Now, I'm sure your cousin can show you around the school. Have a good day." He was someone who was way too cheerful in the morning. He must have had plastic surgery to keep a smile on his face. I was afraid to see what he looked like when he was mad.

I walked out of Mr. Raditch's office to see Sean and Ellie waiting for me. Sean was leaning over and whispering something in Ellie's ear while she looked quite pleased with what he was saying. I cleared my throat to get their attention. "I think you guys need to help me. I have to find my locker and homeroom."

"Yeah, let me see your papers. Okay, follow me," Sean got up still staring at the papers I had handed him. I searched the hallways for that cute boy I saw earlier with the camera. But he was nowhere to be found. That's when Sean stopped next to him. "Here's your locker Autumn. Right next to Craig Manning's," Sean said with vigor to get Ellie's attention.

"Hey Sean, can I speak to you for a moment?" Ellie said cynically walking away from us. Sean followed after with a big smile on his face.

Craig looked me up and down seeing all there was to see. I couldn't help but do the same thing to him. He was the mysterious type: his eyes revealed nothing about him; he kept it locked within himself. He stood in front of me not saying a word. So I spoke first, "Hi I'm Autumn, your new locker neighbor."

Craig stood there still staring at me, not saying a word. Someone near us slammed a locker and woke Craig out of his daydream. "I'm Craig, your new man whore or at least everybody else's, but that's another story. It's nice to meet you Autumn."

"Oh, you're that Craig! You're the one that cheated on Manny and got Ashley pregnant?" I asked my eyes wide.

"Actually, I cheated on Ashley and got Manny pregnant, but forget about it. I don't want to get into it. What does your schedule look like? Maybe we have some classes together." He leaned against his locker.

"Well, I know for a fact that I have photography with you. Sean and Ellie told me. I'm not quite sure about the rest," I dug out my schedule from my back pocket of my jeans. I handed over my schedule to him:

Schedule of: Cameron, Autumn Sex: F Grade: 11

Period 1-Photography

Period 2-U.S. History 2

Period 3-Algebra 2

Period 4-English

Period 5-Lunch

Period 6-Chemistry

Period 7-Physical Education

Period 8-Drama

Homeroom-Kwan

"Well, well, we have photography, drama, lunch, homeroom and algebra together." Craig handed the paper back to me smiling with what looked like an evil grin.

Ellie appeared at my side two seconds later, "I don't know why I'm even dating your cousin. He's is so unbelievable! I have to get to homeroom. I'll see you later Autumn. Oh, and watch your back." She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head towards Craig. I chuckled quietly so Craig wouldn't notice.

Sean followed after her not even saying anything to me. "Sean! What about me?! You're supposed to show me where my homeroom is!" Eventually, I realized that he wasn't going to come back and help me. I just stood there looking out in the direction Ellie and Sean had went.

"I can show you to you're homeroom, considering we have the same homeroom and all." Craig stood up straight now facing me with a hopeful grin.

I looked at him shyly and graciously accepted his offer. "Thank you." Now the halls were filled with students are their lockers. As I walked through the corridors with Craig, I noticed two girls staring at us. One girl was a little taller than me with dark brown hair that went no longer than her chin. She looked sadly at me. While the other girl, who was just a little shorter than me with long black curly hair started evilly at me. I didn't quite know what was going on, but I could tell that these girls didn't like me. It didn't bother me much. I learn to ignore people who gave me looks. I didn't care about anything going on around me, except for the fact that Craig and I were walking together. I was happy for the time being.


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

She was amazing. Her laugh captivated my soul. Okay, so she was turning me into a sap. You can't help it when you meet a girl like that. She seemed to know about Ashley and Manny, but she acted as if she didn't care.

The bell rang for homeroom. We entered the room to see every desk filled except mine and one near Ashley. Not next to Ashley Kerwin; she would open her mouth and ruin my chances to ask Autumn out.

"Ms. Kwan, we have a new student. This is Sean Cameron's cousin, Autumn Cameron." I handed over Autumn to Ms Kwan, winking at her. I walked to my seat next to Spinner Mason. I ran my fingers through my hair nervously, praying that Ashley would keep her mouth shut.

"Craig, who's the newbie? And why do you keep playing with your hair?" Spinner asked noticing my shaky movements.

I noticed Jimmy Brooks lean forward to see how the newbie was. "Her name's Autumn Cameron, Sean's cousin. I want to ask her out but if Ms. Kwan seats her next to Ashley, I know that Ashley will open her big mouth and ruin my chance."

That's when Ms. Kwan tapped her yard stick against her desk, "Students, welcome Autumn Cameron. You can take that empty desk next to Ashley. Ashley, raise you hand so Autumn knows where you are."

I watched closely as Ashley held up here hand. Autumn glided across the room to her desk. I wish that I had a closer desk to Ashley. I couldn't hear what exactly they were saying, but I'm sure it was about me. Autumn's eyes met mine as she looked past Ashley. She smiled and I gave her another wink.

As the bell signaled for first period, I jumped out of my seat and went to meet Autumn. "I'll talk to you guys later," I called to Jimmy and Spinner.

"Bye, Ashley," she said waving to Ash. "Hi Craig. Ready for photography?"

"Yeah, I just have to grab my camera from my locker. Come on," I said nodding to the door. "So what were you and Ashley Kerwin talking about? Anything interesting?" I was curious. Okay, I was dying to find out what Ashley had said about me.

She looked around the halls, "Oh, nothing. She was telling me that same thing Ellie told me."

"And what would that be? If you don't mind me asking," I grabbed my camera and re-locked my locker.

She laughed, "To stay away from you!"

I couldn't help but feel hurt by her laughing. "Yeah, thanks. I guess you know all about me."

"No, I know about your past and how you've screwed up. I want to get to know the real Craig Manning."

I stopped in front of the class. "So you're going to hang around?" She nodded smiling brightly. "Cool. Let's go develop these pictures." I led her to the dark room. I grabbed the 'In Use' sign and put it in the notice holder.

After showing Autumn how to develop the pictures, the pictures slowly came into view. "This one came out good," she whispered. I came up behind her to see the picture she was looking at. It was the black and white photo of Sean and Ellie sitting outside Mr. Raditch's office while they were waiting for Autumn.

"Yeah, that is one of my better one's," I whispered close to her ear, slightly tickling her. She giggled softly and turned to face me. "I want you to see the best picture I've ever taken. Here," I stuck my hand out to her. She took it and let me lead her to the photo. "Look at this one. This one's my favorite. See how the light reflects off her eyes. It looks as if there are stars in her eyes." I turned back to see her expression.

She gasped. It was the picture I had taken of her. She glowed, even in the picture. "I love it," she said breathlessly. She covered her mouth with her hands.

"This girl is beautiful," I turned back to the picture comparing it to the real thing. I turned to her lightly brushing my finger against her cheek turning her cheeks to a rosy color. "You're beautiful." I leaned toward her gently pressing my lips to hers. She tasted sweet, of vanilla. The kiss was short, but so romantic.

She pulled away from me with a dazed look on her face. "Oh, thank you."

I started to freeze, "I was, uh...kind of wondering if you, um...would go out with me? We can go to the movies and then hang out at my house."

"I'd like that, a lot. Pick me up at 7?"

"Yeah, great. I'd be really embarrassed if you turned me down after what just happened."

She looked up at me smiling, "After what? This?" she wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me. When her lips touched min, it hit me: I had a date with Autumn.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Let me tell you now that I have the worst luck with dates. They always seemed to get out of control. Something always goes wrong. So here I was pacing back and forth in the living room. Sean and Ellie were cuddled up on the couch, staring at me. Sean didn't approve of me going on a date so soon.

"Autumn, why don't you just hang with me and El tonight? You just started school; wait till you get adjusted." Sean said looking up at me.

I placed a warm-felt kiss on his head. "Sean, I'm glad you're watching out for me, but I'm a big girl now. I can take care of myself."

Ellie was completely frustrated with me, "I can't believe you're going on a date with Man Whore. Why do you like him? You know about his past. Doesn't that make a difference?"

I smiled to myself thinking of the way he smiled at me in homeroom. "I'm going to change him. I know it."

There was a knock at the door. I placed a kiss on Sean's cheek before going to answer the door. "I'll be home later. Ellie, trust me!"

"Hi Autumn. You look great. Sean, I'll have her home by 1. It's nice to see you, Ellie," Craig said. Ellie ignored him. "Ready to go?"

"Yes, I'm ready. What are we going to see?" We walked to his car and he opened my door for me. I slid into the seat as I glanced around the car. He had a guitar hanging from the rearview mirror.

Craig reappeared in the driver's seat a few seconds later. "We are going to see 'The Exorcist: The Beginning.' I love scary movies."

_Great a horror buff! Just my type,_ I thought sarcastically to myself. I hated horror movies, but Craig was cute and I was going for him. "Oh, great. I can't wait."

* * *

"That movie wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," I said entering Craig's house. "I'm surprised that I didn't freak out at the scary parts." I looked around and noticed a man standing in the kitchen that looked nothing like Craig. He was making what looked like tea.

The man straightened up and smiled wide, "Craig, who's your guest?"

Craig turned to me, "Autumn this is my step-dad, Joey Jeremiah. Joey, this is Autumn. She's new at school, so I took her to the movies tonight. We're just going to hang out in my room." Craig intertwined his hands with mine leading me to his room.

I was led to a back room with a tiny bed with a guitar on it, along with a whole bunch of music paper covering the room. "You have a great room. It's much bigger than mine is, but than again, how big do you think it would be when you live in an apartment?"

"It's okay. I basically spend all my time in the garage with Spinner, Jimmy and Marco. We're in a band and that's where we practice. We've had a few gigs, nothing big."

I picked up the acoustic guitar looking it over. "Would you mind playing something for me? I love music so it's always been like a romantic thing for me." I handed him the guitar smiling at him. He took the guitar sitting on the edge of his bed, patting the seat next to him. His fingers lingered on each string as he began to play. It was a slow song. The words were sweet about him being in love with someone. He put his heart and soul into his music; you could tell just by the way he held the guitar. He loved playing; it showed with every little move he made.

When he finished, he looked over at me. "That was a little song I wrote for an ex-girlfriend. I couldn't say the words, so I wrote them in a song. But things didn't work out. I hate to admit it but that's one of my favorite songs that I've ever written."

"It was really sweet. I liked the lyrics, 'Something about the way you shine when the lights go out.' Those are really great lyrics. She was lucky to have a song written for her. You really have a talent, Mr. Manning." I leaned back on my palms staring around the room.

He placed his guitar by the side of his bed as he leaned back to lie near me. "So, Miss Cameron...tell me a little about you. I barely even know your name."

I laughed to myself as I realized he was right. "Well, I'm 17 and I just moved to Toronto, Canada from California, United States. My cousin is Sean Cameron. I have no brothers or sisters. I lived with my mother and father. My mom was a stay-at-home-mom; she was there when I got home from school, did all the cooking and cleaning. My dad was a plastic surgeon so he made lots of money and we never had to worry about it. I had few close friends. People didn't like me much, basically I was the rebel type: didn't care what people thought or said about me; kind of like you."

He moved my head onto his chest. I listened to his heart beat as he talked, "So why'd you move here? It sounds like you had a good life out there."

"Sean needed me. Ever since Sean and I were little we've always been there for each other, until he moved out here. He was my strength. When I needed him, he came to my rescue and I did the same for him. It didn't matter if I had a good life out there, what mattered was my cousin needed me. It was as simple as that. No questions asked."

Craig by now started running his fingers through my hair. "That's cool that you have such a close relationship with him. Not many people here can get close to him. He dated one girl, Emma, but you probably know all about that. They were close, but then he started hanging out with Jay and Alex. We hung out when I first moved here, so things are cool between us. Now, he's dating Ellie and she hates me because of Ashley, so we really don't get a chance to hang out."

I turned to see his brown eyes shining at me. "Craig, tell me about you. It's only fair." An evil grin spread across my lips.

"Okay, I'll tell you, but I have to warn you: I've had a rough life. Just don't feel sorry for me." I nodded silently as he took a deep breath. "My mother died a few years ago. I lived with my father after she died. My mom had re-married since they were divorced and had a daughter, Angela, with my step-father. But that's when things started going crazy. My dad started beating me, so that's when I started thinking about moving in with Joey. I did move in with Joey to get away from my dad. Eventually my father came back hoping that I would move back in with him, convincing me that he's changed. He was lying and I was wrong. I moved in for a short time and he started to hit me again. I vowed that I would never see him again. He died a few weeks later. So I started writing music and I got close to a girl named Ashley Kerwin. She just broke up with her boyfriend and we started dating not too long after. We connected on another level, which no one else could reach. But then there was Manuela Santos, the hot sophomore that every guy wanted. I cheated on Ashley with Manny and I lost both girls because I was stupid. A few weeks later Manny comes to me and tells me she's pregnant with my baby. I figured that we would keep the baby and have our own little family. I had Manny back, I had everything. She told her mom and she decided she couldn't handle being a mother at 15. She had an abortion and I haven't talked to her since the day she told me. It killed me knowing that she was killing something I had created, something we created together. After that day, I vowed that I would never do what I did to either one of them. I would never cheat and I would never have unprotected sex ever again." He took a long deep breath and just closed his eyes.

I didn't know what to say. I sat up running my fingers through my hair. "That sucks."

He sat up next to me and pushed me with his elbow. "That's real sensitive, Autumn."

"You told me not the feel sorry for you, so I'm not." I put my elbows on my knees placing my head in my hands.

He chuckled to himself remembering what he said. "Shut up." He put his arm around my neck and pulled me to him. He placed his lips on mine. His kissed consumed me. I couldn't feel any part of my body nor could I hear. I thought I heard Joey say goodnight, but didn't really notice. Being with him was different; it wasn't like being with my other boyfriends.

I pulled away to catch my breath. I know it sounds cliché but he took my breath away.

His faced had a look of concern. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing, everything's perfect." And I wasn't lying. Things were great, even the date.


	7. Chapter 6

(A/N: I don't own the song 'True' , it's written by Ryan Cabrera. I just really love the song and had to use it.)**  
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**Chapter 6**

Don't ask me why I opened up to her. She was just another girl, right? I told her all about my past and who I was. She deserved to know in a sense. If I was going to date her, she might as well know what my family life was like.

So when I woke up this morning the most amazing thing popped into my head. I had something special to do. I looked over at my pleasantly beeping clock. Being with Autumn had changed my view of things. Nothing was dull and bothersome. Things were looking up. The clocked illuminated with red numbers said 6:15 a.m. I picked up my cell phone and found the number I was looking for. I pressed the little green phone and waited impatiently as I heard the phone ring. On the fourth ring there was a click and a voice, "Hello?"

"Sean, I need your help. I need you do something for me. Is Autumn any where near you right now?" I said hurriedly.

"No, she's in the shower. What's going on?" I could hear the sleep lingering on his voice as his eyelids hung heavy.

I took a breath of excitement, "There's something I want to do for her. In order to do it, I need you. Will you help?"

Half asleep and half unsure of what I was doing he agreed. "Sure, but what are you doing? Nothing I would do, right?"

"I don't do crazy; I do calm and collected. Anyway, this is my idea..."

I arrived to school at regular time. Homeroom had been a bore besides having Autumn there to make me smile. I couldn't wait to perform. She wanted it; now she was going to get it. I stood next to her in photography thinking about the look on her face. I wrapped my arms around her waist. I trailed little kisses down her neck to the tip of her shoulder. She shivered beneath my grasp pulling at her jacket. She turned around placing a gentle peck as Mr. Jansen turned to help another student.

I leaned close to her ear, "I have a surprise for you."

I watched as her hazel eyes lit up. "What kind of surprise?"

"You'll see." I looked out the door to see Sean walking toward me.

Sean knocked on the door pane, "Excuse me, Mr. Jansen. Craig Manning is needed in Mr. Raditch's office."

Mr. Jansen looked over at me. "Craig, take the pass."

Autumn looked at me glumly as I unwrapped myself from her and strode to the door. "I'll be right back. I met Sean a few feet away from the door. "She doesn't know anything, right?"

"I told you, she was in the shower. Come on, let's get this over with."

I grabbed my guitar from my locker as Sean distracted Mr. Raditch. "Sean, why are you out of class without a pass?"

"Mr. R, Melissa Sanders was taking too long in the bathroom, so Mr. Simpson let me go. If you don't believe me, go ask him."

"Come on, Mr. Cameron. Let's go talk to Mr. Simpson." Mr. Raditch wrapped his arm around Sean's shoulders. That was my cue.

I walked into the office to see Ms. Kopek sitting and humming at her desk. She looked up at me with a questioning glance. "May I help you?"

"Uh...Mr. Raditch asked me to put this in his office," I said thinking quickly. I hadn't expected her to be there.

"Okay," she smiled and went back to her work.

I finished my journey into Mr. Raditch's office. I took hold of the P.A. microphone where Mr. Raditch did the morning announcement placing it in front of the green leather chair. I grabbed the encyclopedia from the book case by the desk. I put the book on the top of the speak button, gripping my guitar and situated myself in the chair.

"I want to dedicate this song to a special girl in Mr. Jansen's photography class," I said into the microphone. I sat there and took a deep breath. I started playing the song I wrote about Autumn called 'True.' Everything was going good. The song was perfect. I could see Autumn in my mind: sitting on her stool next to my empty one leaning her elbows on the table top with her head in her hands. "I've waited all my life to cross this line; to the only thing that's true, so I will not hide, it's time to try anything to be with you, all my life I've waited; this is true," I finished up the song. Making sure every not was heard, I waited a few seconds before removing the book off the microphone. With my guitar still wrapped around my neck, I picked myself up and ran to my locker. It amazed me that Mr. Raditch didn't send anyone to come get the prankster in his office. I placed my guitar in my locker feeling someone come up behind me.

"That was beautiful," she said low as if it were a secret.

"I wrote it for you," I shut my locker and turned to see someone I wasn't expecting. "Manny? No, I didn't write it for you. I wrote it for..."

"Craig! I can't believe you!" Autumn yelled from down the hall. She ran to me and wrapped her arms around me. I stared at Manny as her gaze fell to the floor.

"Autumn. I guess you liked it. I wrote that for you."

"Craig? Can I call you later? I need to talk to you. Please?" Manny's eyes looked up at me pleadingly.

"Yeah, any time after 10, I'll be free." She nodded at me and left Autumn and me alone.

Autumn placed her hand on the back of my neck and started twirling my hair in her fingers. "Thank you. I've never would have thought you would do something like that for me. I'm nothing important."

I leaned in a kissed her lightly. "On the contrary, you're very special, at least to me." She kissed me gingerly making my body go numb. "Does this mean you're mine? She grinned at me evilly, kissing me again. I took it as a yes. I guess my idea worked.


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

I didn't understand how someone could hate Craig. He was a sweetheart. I believe in forgiveness but apparently others didn't. Although Ashley Kerwin and her friends didn't think it was a good idea that I date Craig, they still accepted me as a person. I got along with them; we just saw things differently.

So here I was sitting at lunch still thinking about Craig. The song was amazing and made my heart skip a beat. I glanced over to Craig's table noticing he was looking back at me. He winked at me.

"Autumn? Did you hear me?" Paige Michalchuk asked snidely. Paige was the most popular girl in school. If you didn't hear her, she didn't see you.

I turned back to her. "No, I spaced out for a minute."

She scoffed at me. "I _was_ saying that it's a complete waste of time to try and change him. Believe me people have tried. There's nothing you can do."

"Manny tried. They really cared about each other but after she had the abortion he had no will to be friend with her," Hazel Aden, Paige's best friend, added.

Ashley put a hand on my arm. "Let me warn you from personal experience: he's a liar. Don't believe anything he tells you. When says 'You're the only one for me,' you say..."

"Bullshit," Hazel and Paige said in unison.

"Face it Autumn: he's not worth it. No man is worth you're time, unless he's gay in which case Craig is not gay." Ashley shot a glance at Craig.

I took a bite out of my bagel. "Why can't you believe people can change? Let me ask you something: he hasn't had a girlfriend in over a year, right? Well, who's to say he hasn't changed?"

All the girls shook their heads. "Okay, I see your point. Autumn, you're new here and we are your friends. We're just looking out for you. We don't want you to get hurt," Paige placed her hand over mine sympathetically.

I didn't want to sound like a bitch because they were my friends but I had to say something. "Guys, I'm a big girl. I can stand up for myself and if I need someone I have Sean. I moved here knowing that people would want to baby me, but I can handle the real world." I couldn't argue with them anymore. I grabbed my lunch and started packing up my books. "I got to go."

"Don't come crying to us when he breaks your heart!" Paige yelled at my back.

I ignore her and the looks I got from the rest of the junior class. I crossed the black top walking for my destination. "Can I sit here?"

Craig, Spinner Mason, Marco Del Rossi, and Jimmy Brooks all looked up at me. Craig and Marco made room for me. "Sure, honey. What happened over there?"

I squeezed in resting my head on his shoulder. "Nothing, I just wanted to sit by you. It's been a long day. I just needed a hug."

"Don't worry about them. They like to make people upset," Spinner said.

Craig squeezed me and put a light kiss on my head, "its okay. You'll always have me."

In my head I heard Ashley, Paige, Hazel and even Ellie say, "Bullshit." I didn't let the voices get to me. I shook them off snuggling into Craig's arms. I loved feeling his arms around me and holding me near. Sometimes I think that if it weren't for him holding onto me, I would just float away. I needed something to believe in, and for the moment being Craig was it. No matter what anybody else had to say about him, I wouldn't let it bother me. But that voice would always be in the back of my head. Okay, so I had lied; I couldn't completely forgive Craig for what he did. The only time I forgot about his past was when he held me in his arms and the kisses he left me. I truly believed that he would change. So I promised myself that I wouldn't let Paige, Hazel, Ashley and Ellie ruin my relationship.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I paced my bedroom floor anticipating the ring of my phone. The day had been fine. Ashley and the girls had made Autumn upset but I made her feel better. The only part of the day I had regretted was agreeing to let Manny call me. I had been so thrown off by her coming to talk to me after the song.

The phone startled me as it began to play. I answered briskly, "Hey."

"Hi. Is everything okay?" she whispered. Manny was never one to whisper. To think about it, she only whispered when something was bothering her.

"Yeah, things are good. Why are you whispering?" I whispered back.

She giggled quietly, "I'm not allowed to talk to you. But I need to talk to you. Craig..." With just her saying my name, the tone of the conversation had changed.

"Manny, what do you want me to say?" I didn't know what she wanted to hear or if I could tell her what she wanted to hear.

"Craig, I want you to understand why I did what I did. I want you to forgive me for hurting you the way I did. I couldn't be a mother at 15. Some people can handle being a mother at that age, but not me. How could I keep a child alive when I could barely keep a gold fish alive? I did it for the love of my baby, our baby."

I was aggravated by now, "How can you say that? I wanted the baby. You never gave me a chance to meet him or her. You took them away from me. You killed my love along with my baby."

I heard Manny sniffle as she tried to cover up her tears. "Craig, please understand. I did this for the baby and us. You have your music career ahead of you. Did you ever think where that would leave me? Home alone with the baby while you slept with every girl you laid your eyes on. I didn't want that, I didn't deserve that. No one does, not even Ashley. She didn't deserve you cheating on her."

I sat down in my computer chair thinking. She was probably right. If I became famous, sex drugs and rock and roll would rule my life. I would forget about Manny and the baby. Nothing else would have mattered. I ran my fingers through my hair realizing how dumb I was. I fucked up.

"Craig? Are you still there?" Manny kept her voice low.

"Yeah, I'm here. Manny, I'm sorry for not understanding. Things were so crazy that I didn't have a chance to think about it. I was just so excited. I'm sorry."

She sniffled again, "Its okay, Craig. I'm just glad you understand."

I sighed heavily. "So, what's up? How are things? How's your boyfriend?" I asked not really caring.

"Things are okay. My parents are still watching my every move. Things with my boyfriend aren't so good. I don't like him the way I used to."

"That sucks."

"Yeah, I know. How's Autumn? You really like her. That was a really pretty song." Manny was up to something. Her voice was returning to normal volume.

"Things are good. I really think I'm falling for her and that kind of scares me. I'm afraid I'm going to hurt her. I feel like I'm losing control."

She sighed, "If you're having these kinds of thoughts, you must not really care about her. Look, I got to go. I still have some homework to do. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

She hung up before I had the chance to say good-bye. I sat there thinking. I was starting to fall for Autumn, faster than I fell for Ashley or Manny. That scared me. But I couldn't fall for her in three days, could I? I shook off my thoughts and I went to find my journal in my desk. While rummaging through the desk, I found a picture of Manny I had taken last year. I felt my heart jump out almost as if I still had feelings for her. Did I have feeling for her? I couldn't have feelings for her if I had a girlfriend, could I?


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

I raced around the apartment fixing last minute details. Craig was going to be here any minute. No one was home beside me. Sean and Ellie were out with Jay and Alex at the mall to make fun of people. I brushed my hair out of my face and up into a ponytail adding glitter to highlight my highlights. I ran back to my tiny room and grabbed my leather jacket. I put it on and sat at the kitchen counter. I propped my head upon my left hand and started to play with the daisy in the vase. Angela had given it to me the other day when I was getting help with the Algebra homework from Craig.

Craig and I had been dating for a little more than a week. Things were good. I spent every moment I could with him. My mother had said she was happy I was adjusting and glad to hear I had a boyfriend. I confessed that I might love him. At first I thought I was crazy for feeling that way after a week. My mother explained there is no set 'time' to fall in love. After speaking to her I gave in. I was in love.

I pulled out the daisy and asked it if Craig loved me. I pulled petal after petal saying 'he loves me, he loves me not.' I watched the soft white petals fall to the floor. I was down to the last few petals. I pulled the last petal off resulting with he loves me not. My heart dropped down to my stomach only to jump up when there was a knock on the door.

"Hey! I missed you," I answered the door placing a kiss on his pout lips.

"Hm...I missed you too. Ready to go?" he stuck his arm out for mine. I placed my arm in his nestling close to his warm body.

"Where are we going? Aren't we taking your car?" I asked unknowingly as we walked past his car.

He laughed lightly, "We're going to the Dot, which is down the street. There's something I have to do."

"Okay. I talked to my mom yesterday. She's happy that I'm happy here. She thought I was going to be miserable."

He wrapped his arm around my waist pulling me closer. "You would be miserable if you didn't have such a sexy stud as your guide."

We approached the door and he opened it for me. As we entered the café, I saw all the couples of Degrassi start to whisper. I hated that everywhere Craig and I went people would talk about us. It made the voices in my head louder.

"Autumn, this way. See we have this tradition here at the Dot. When you have a boyfriend or girlfriend that you want other people to know about, you carve it into the wall over here. I want to carve our names into it." He pulled out an army knife and started picking at the wood. Above where he was carving were other people's names and the words '**Lovers Wall.**' I smiled to myself never realizing how special I could feel until now. No one had ever thought of something like this while I was in California. No one had ever given me the official title of being their girlfriend. I was always just someone's friend. Now, I really knew what it meant to be smitten.

He backed away from the wall and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He sighed heavily placing a gentle kiss on my head. I stared at it for a few moments not hearing Paige and Hazel snickering behind me. I stood up on my tip toes and placed a kiss on his cheek. I guess he heard the snickering too after a while seeing as he started to tense up.

"Come on, let's get out of here. I'm not going to let them ruin our afternoon," I tugged him towards the door. He shot a glance at Spinner and Jimmy, who were supposed to be his friends.

Reluctantly, I got him out of the Dot. We walked out into the crisp air and felt a strong gust of wind. "I really hate them. I know that they're like my best friends, but seriously. They need to realize that I've changed. I don't know how I could have been so dumb. Whatever, let's go back to your place. It's chilly out," Craig said running his hands through his hair.

I stopped him before he could walk away. "Craig, don't let them get to you. Just listen to your heart. That's what I've been doing. Sure, I hear Paige's and Hazel's annoying voices in my head, but I've learned to ignore them. Okay?" I looked up at him and realized how cute he looked when he was frustrated.

"Yeah, okay." He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me in for a kiss. As we stood there kissing I could rain drops falling on my head. I pulled away from Craig and looked up at the sky to see more rain drops falling faster and faster. I just stood there letting the rain fall on me. Craig on the other hand wasn't willing to take in the moment. "Autumn, it's starting to _rain_. Let's get going. We're going to get sick if we stay out here." He started to pull at my wrist but stayed in the same spot. I loved the rain. I stood there taking the moment in. But that's when it started to pour. I started to laugh. I grabbed Craig's arm and started running back to Sean's apartment.

I laughed all the way home with Craig trailing behind me. When we got back to the apartment, we were both drenched. We almost fell over when I finally got the door open. We were both laughing hysterically. Craig had his arms wrapped around my waist trying to support my exhausted body from running. I threw my keys on the counter and leaned my head on Craig's shoulder. He brushed a piece of hair that had fallen out of my face and grazed my cheek with his fingers, tickling me just a bit. He looked deep into my eyes and brought me close to his shaking body. He laid his lips on mine in a deep passionate kiss. I kissed him right back with everything that I had. I knew what was going to happen. We started heading to my room and I could his burning hands start to pull at my jacket. I unzipped his jacket as he slipped my arms out of mine. We were rapidly taking our wet clothes off until we were left with just our undergarments on. We fell onto my bed, him on top of me. I laid back and placed my head on the pillow I used. He was hovering over me looking down at me thinking about what was going to happen. He leaned in and kissed me again. This time he didn't stop. He kept going he unsnapped my bra and started working his way down to my boy-shorts. I couldn't past that point. I lost myself in the moment, not thinking about anything but our two bodies forming one. I let myself go. I gave him the most important part of me at that minute in time. I was his for good now. He had everything. He had my heart in his hands, not knowing the worst was yet to come.


	11. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

It had been a week since Manny and I had talked that things really started to happen between me and Autumn. What had happened was unexpected. I hadn't planned on sleeping with her but now things have gotten deeper. We don't have the same puppy love relationship. Things had moved faster than planned. I didn't plan on falling in _love_ with Autumn. Of course she was beautiful and smart and funny and everything I wanted, but I was 17! Who falls in love at 17?

I crossed my room thinking about Autumn. She was all I thought about since that day. I needed to talk to someone and I didn't know who that could be. Joey would give me another lecture about not rushing my girlfriend into having sex. I hated it the first time around; why would I put myself through it again? Joey was out of the question. Spinner and Jimmy couldn't hold a real conversation without mentioning the Manny-Ashley thing. Caitlin would side with Joey and probably have him come in on the conversation. I wasn't left with many choices. That's when I realized there was only one person that would be able to understand my problem. I picked up my cell phone from the charger. It rang several times before she answered. "Hello, Manny Santos speaking, how can I fix your day?" her voice rung in my ears and put a slight smile on my face.

"Manny, I need someone to talk to. Can you meet me somewhere?" I asked.

"Sure, how about the bowling alley? I feel active."

"Yeah, that's fine. See you in 5 minutes." I hung up my phone and started to my car. I jumped in and started the engine.

I arrived several minutes later and saw Manny already bowling. I got shoes and a ball and joined her. "Hey..."

"Craig, ready to get your butt kicked? We can talk later," Manny said fixing her hair into a ponytail.

As I watched Manny, I couldn't help but feel that little attraction that had always been there jump up again. She had on pink sweat pants and a white tank top. She did look god, no doubt about that. I shook the thoughts from my mind reminding myself why I was there.

We bowled two games. I won the first and letting her win the second one, although she looked sexy pouting.

"What's on your mind?" Manny said sitting next to me.

I looked away and propped my head on my hands. "I think I love Autumn..."

"No you don't. Do you?" she asked. I nodded my head. "Wow! Craig has fallen in love?"

"Yeah, I can't believe it either. I've never been in love. I don't know what to do. Can you help?"

She sighed and looked out the door. "I don't know. I've never been in love before. But if I was you, I would let things happen, let things go. I would just take in every moment."

I listened to her speak and noticed she wasn't talking about my situation but her own. I turned to face her and only to be inches away from her. I breathed in her perfume. "Manny..." and I over stepped my bounds. I placed my hand on the back of her neck and kissed her lips. The same sweet taste of cherry lay upon her lips. I didn't realize what I was doing. As Manny had said, just let things happen.

"What-what the fuck is going on here? Craig?" I heard a voice from behind Manny's head. I opened my eyes and saw the one person I didn't want to see.

"Autumn, let me explain. I was talking to Manny about you. She was helping me. Then I thought of you, and kissed her thinking it was you. Autumn, I love you." I watched her and I saw the tears fall from her eyes. She stood there shaking, face turning red and her heartbreaking. She didn't say a word. She turned her back to me and walked out the door. I headed after her, but Sean grabbed me.

"Leave her alone. You broke her heart. How could you do this to her? I want to kick your ass right now, but Autumn wouldn't want me to. Autumn, unlike you, loved you. She actually has feelings, Craig. Forget about her." Sean pushed me back and went out to meet Autumn.

I turned to Manny to see her jaw dropped and eyes wide. "Why? How could this happen?"

"I'm sorry, it was my fault. I shouldn't have come to meet you. I'm sorry," Manny covered her mouth and I could have sworn I saw tears in her eyes too.

"Not as sorry as I am. I fucked up." It was the truth. I had fucked up my chance to be with a girl who I really cared for. I loved her, yet I kissed another girl. How dumb could I be? I guess I'm just not meant to be with one girl at a time. Maybe I'm not meant to love. Maybe I'm meant to be alone. Whatever I was destined to be, I wouldn't give up without a fight.


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue **

I stood in front of my locker with a single rose in my hand and a smile on my face. I had done everything possible. I wrote a new song and preformed it on the sound system again. She couldn't hate me now. Could she?

It was seventh period on Monday. It had been 49 hours, 17 minutes and 22 seconds since I had kissed Manny. I shifted my weight as I thought about it. Why had I kissed her? I didn't know nor did I care. All I knew what that I loved Autumn and I wasn't going to let her go. She was everything to me.

I heard footsteps from behind me. I turned slightly to see her coming towards me. She looked down as she walked with her books pressed against her chest. She didn't notice me and kept on her moving towards me. Eventually she made her way to her locker and ignored me and the flower.

"Autumn? I got this for you. The light pink rose means believe me and the single rose means love at first sight, which is what happened with you. I wish you would believe me that I love you and that I'm sorry. I've apologized to you and I've told you I love you. What do you want me to do?" I pleaded with her.

She sighed sadly, "Craig, I can't forgive you now. Maybe someday I can, but not now. The girls here were right: you can't and won't change. Nothing you can say would make up for what you did." My eyes started to sting as I watched her grab her bag. She placed her books in her bag one by one.

"Autumn, let me make it up to you. I've changed. You're the first girl that I could say I love you to and really mean it. I know what I did was wrong and I understand you hate me but please give me another chance."

She slammed her locker and lifter her bag over her head and shoulder. "Craig, I'm going home for a week. Sean's coming with me so he won't be alone. This past week has been crazy. I just need time for myself. Things were going too fast. I need time to relax and try to forgive you for what you did."

"Autumn, let's go! We're going to miss out flight!" I could see Sean standing in the glass doorway waving to her.

Autumn turned toward to Sean and then back to me, "Bye Craig." She put her head down and went to meet her cousin. I watched her, like I always did, just to be close to her, as she wiped silent deadly tears from off her timeless beauty. I watched her walk out of my life. I saw the rose in my hand die and my heart break in front of my eyes. She walked out of my life and never looked back.


End file.
